A Little Something Called 'Bromance'
by Slaying Salty
Summary: One-Shot. It's Valentine's, and all Ren wanted to do was get Nora a gift. He thought that dragging along Jaune - the so called 'Lady-killer' - was a good idea. A short tale of the idiocy that is 'Bromance'. Rated T for light implications of sex.


**I still have no idea why I did this. I should be celebrating independence day with my fellow freedom fighters; but I wanted to celebrate the platonic and brotherly love. Yup.**

 **I was totally not inspired by Deadpool and Cable's Bromance. Or Spiderman and Deadpool. Totally.**

 **Comments on RWBY Volume 3 Chapter 12: The End of The Beginning:**

 **FFFFFFFFFFFFFHGGGGHJJJCFDRJJHXSASSFHJIDSAPYRRHNIKOSASDFGHJKLSILVEREYESGHAAAAAHHHHJAUNEARCHHHHFRDGHFEELS!**

* * *

 **A Little Something Called**

 **Bromance**

* * *

*Coughs* Hehe hehe. Yeah...

Lie Ren was a very patient man.

From the constant shenanigans that teams RWBY and JNPR caused on an almost daily basis, to the threats that all of them faced in their time at the Academy, and the insanity that they called 'Beacon Life'; it was a wonder why Lie Ren hadn't snapped yet.

There was also that little thing known as 'Nora Valkyrie' that took up a huge percentage of the craziness in his life.

It was truly a miracle from above that Ren was keeping a firm grip on his mental state; although he feared that his hold was slowly slacking. Maybe it was a good idea that he chose to lock his weapons in his locker every night. He did _not_ need any blood on his hands when he was still planning on opening his dream restaurant: 'Remnant's House of Pancakes'

"Hey Ren, I need your honest opinion. Do these pair of jeans make me look fat?"

And now Ren has to return to reality. For now, anyway...

Ren gave his best friend Jaune Arc the laziest groan he could muster. "Do I look like I care?" Jaune put on his 'Ruby Rose' pout; which only served to give Ren more leverage to use against him later. "You _should_ , Ren. It was you who dragged me down here anyway just so you can buy your girlfriend a Valentine's gift..."

Ren's eyes widened as he fought the blush that crept up his cheeks. "Nora is _not_ my girlfriend, alright! We are not together-together!" Jaune snorted. "Yeah, sure. And I'm the headmaster of Beacon Academy."

Ren smacked his forehead; clearly irritated by Jaune's teasing. "I just came here to buy Nora Valkyrie - my _childhood friend_ \- a gift to celebrate our purely platonic relationship!" he grabbed Jaune's shoulders and shook him. "What can you not understand Jaune?!"

Jaune put on his best shit-eating grin and placed his arm around Ren. "Look, Ren, I get it. You're shy about this, and you don't want other people knowing about you and Nora! I get it dude; we're Bros after all~"

"THAT IS _NOT_ TRUE!"

Jaune waved Ren's comment off. "Blah blah blah. Nothing but fillers. You don't need to keep denying in front of me dude; this ain't drama." Ren felt himself about to lose control. That exposed neck of would be so _easy_ to snap...

 _Happy place, Ren... find your happy place. Don't go to the Dark Side._

"Remnant to Ren? Hello?" Jaune snapped his fingers in front of Ren. "Did you go to that dark corner of your mind again?" Ren felt a vein throb on his forehead. "No, Jaune. I did not go there." Jaune gave a half-hearted shrug. "Who knows? Maybe you did." He then returned to scanning the line of jeans in the clothing shop. "Back to business; after you so _rudely_ interrupted my important work." he grumbled.

Ren nearly shot Jaune in the back of his head.

* * *

"Still haven't found a gift, Arc!" Ren shouted at Jaune.

Jaune placed a finger on Ren's lips, effectively shutting him up. "Shush, Watson. I am in the process of locating the perfect earphones for my scroll, and I will not allow you to disrupt my concentration!" Ren growled under his breath "Since when did you become Sherlock-fucking-Holmes?!"

Jaune ignored him and continued to scan through the rows of earphones and headphones alike. He mumbled under his breath; taking his sweet time. _Ren's_ sweet time.

"What is taking so long, Jaune?!" Ren practically shouted. Jaune looked over his shoulder at the frustrated gunslinger and shrugged. "Good quality earphones are very difficult to find nowadays, my friend." He stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "You of all people should know that; since Nora practically burns through the headphones you give her."

Ren threw his hands up in the air in frustration; breaking his usually stoic demeanor. "Well sorry! It's not my fault that Nora keeps playing metal, even when she's asleep!" Jaune twirled his fingers in a lazy manner in the air, before speaking. "Exactly Mr. Lie. So allow me some peace as I try to find those _sweet_ headphones Weiss keeps talking about!"

Ren was only a few inches away from Jaune; and that was enough to kickstart his dark thinking.

 _If only I could throttle you right now..._

* * *

"How did we even get into this mess?!"

Jaune and Ren were running through the streets of Vale; a mob of angry women right at their tails.

"I don't know!" Jaune shouted over the wind. "All I did was ask a bunch of girls at the supermarket about what their cup size was; then they all just started throwing stuff at me and called me 'pervert'!"

If looks could kill, then Jaune would be six feet under by now from the glare Ren was giving him. Even as they were running for their lives, Ren still gave a a perfect ten evil stare. "You idiot!"

Jaune nearly tripped over a crack on the sidewalk as they turned a corner. "What in Great-granpa Arc's name are you talking about?" Jaune asked over the wind. Ren leaped over a bench as they entered Vale National Park; surprising civilians in the vicinity. "Do you have _any_ idea what a freaking cup size even is, Arc?"

Jaune ducked under a flying Frisbee; nearly missing him by an inch. "You tell me! I personally have no semblance of an idea what is so offending about a asking a complete female stranger their cup sizes!" He hollered. Ren - sensing an incoming danger - tackled Jaune into a group of bushes.

A second later, ice erupted from the ground; splitting a tree in half. Ren turned his gaze to a woman who seemed to be leading the angry mob. The green monk nearly chocked on air as he got a clear view of the woman.

She had long, ebony hair and a face that resembled someone Ren knew very well; albeit he couldn't put his finger on who exactly. He saw that she wore a red undershirt and a black, leather jacket. Her just as dark jeans and combat boots hardly looked intimidating; until he saw what she was holding in her hand.

A katana - glowing an unnatural ice blue - was brandished openly in the park. Ren knew in that instant that the katana was imbued in ice dust. But what was much more important to note was the dreadful realization that Jaune had managed to piss off a _huntress_.

Ren was a bit scared that he wasn't even shocked at that fact. Typical Arc luck he supposed.

"Where is that blonde pervert!" The huntress growled. "I swear, if I have to deal with another smart-ass blonde idiot, I will raise bloody hell!"

"YEAH!" The group of women called out behind her. The huntress waved her hand and lead the mob in search of a certain blonde imbecile.

Ren breathed a sigh of relief, before turning to his friend beside him. Jaune groaned in pain as his ribs were healed by his aura. Ren's eyes twitched; a dark aura emitting from him.

"Ren, what happened?" Jaune asked. Said teen raised his palms; a threatening move that Jaune was able to register as an incoming attack mere seconds later.

A girlish scream was heard throughout Vale; disturbing a certain group of terrorist from their plotting.

"What the hell was that?!" Mercury Black asked in a frustrated tone. Beside him, Emerald Sustrai shook her head in response. "Doesn't matter Merc. We have bigger fish to fry anyway; since Cinder wants the papers of tonight's dust shipment to arrive at her office in a few."

"I still have no idea why _Cinder_ , of all people has a business office!"

* * *

A tired Lie Ren trudged down the path to Beacon; a bruised and battered Jaune Arc accompanying him.

"Ow... ow..." Jaune mumbled out. Ren sighed in frustration, "You should be thankful that I didn't break every bone in tour body." Jaune spun a finger in the air, "Whooptee-fucking-doo!" Jaune drawled out in a sarcastic tone. "How was I supposed to know that cup size meant the size of a woman's-"

"Upupupupup." Ren cut him off. "I get it! Now just shut up... I am so _screwed_." Ren muttered. "I didn't get Nora anything, and I was chased through half of Vale by an angry mob of women all because you were so clueless!"

Jaune shouldered the pack strapped to his back; his lips drawn in a thin line. Now that he thought about it, Jaune had been taking good care of that thing all day...

"It's not a total fail, you know." Jaune slowly stated. Ren raised a brow in question. "What are you talking about, Jaune?" Jaune sighed as he ran his hand through his messy mop of blonde hair. "Well, I know you've been working hard for the team; and I kinda guessed that you wanted to get Nora something special on Valentine's... so..." He trailed off.

Ren stopped in his tracks; a few things beginning to click together with Jaune's more _unique_ personality today.

"Are you saying..."

Jaune nodded; a small smile appearing on his lips. "Well, yeah. You've pretty much been the heart and soul of the team for a while now; and as a fellow bro, I wanted to help you out on your current dilemma. I kinda let you drag me down there so that I could get you these. For Nora of course."

Jaune unzipped his bag, and in it were two things that left Ren completely speechless.

Inside was a pink sundress that Nora had been pestering Ren for a while now; and the other was a pink set of headphones with the Schnee company logo on one side, and the other was the Valkyrie crest.

"You got Nora... all of that." Ren whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek. Jaune grinned and zipped up the pack, before tossing said item in Ren's arms. He went ahead of Ren, a hand raised in a lazy farewell. "Happy Valentine's, you bastard." He turned to Ren and gave a bright smile. "Make Nora's day, will you?"

Ren stood there; silent as he gingerly held the pack. A smile formed on his lips before he ran to the dorms; completely set on doing exactly what his fearless leader ordered.

"Thanks, Jaune."

* * *

 **BROMANCE! YELLOW BROTUS! AAAAAGGHHHHH!**

 **About my story "For Them, and Only Them", I would like to state how Pyrrha's death will affect my tale.**

 **It won't.**

 **See, I had already plotted this all out; and it is an AU. Ren's decisions will make it so. Also, I'd like to give special thanks to a certain someone:**

 **Yourfellowwriter. This guy is fucking awesome. Sure, we didn't exactly help each other out in terms of each other's plots or grammars or shiznit like that. We just simply gave our moral support to one another.**

 **I HIGHLY RECOMMEND HUNTER OF KARAKURA. PLEASE.**

 **Another thing; thank you for the support to my first RWBY fanfic! 9,000+ Reads, 25 awesome reviews, 142 favs, and a 192 follows?! I know that may seem small, but to me it means a WHOLE LOT! I'M SERIOUS. Thank you :D**

 **One last thing. If you're a fan of Steven Universe, then I totally think that "Do It For Him/ For Her" totally showcased Jaune and Pyrrha's chemistry in the last three volumes.**

 **Right in the feels...**

 **HAPPY INDEPE-**

 **Happy Valentine's Day.**


End file.
